Friday, December 08, 2006

A Toy Story

(Cheating daw. Isang lumang article na sinulat ko nung 2001 habang bum pa ako.)



Last week, I pestered my mom into giving me an early birthday present in the form of a shiny red remote-controlled New Beetle. Nothing extravagant here. The red car, which costed surprisingly cheap (299.95PhP), gleamed with its glossy plastic body. Apparently, the China-made car based its composition from those 1/18 die-cast scale models which costs around 1500PhP, which, except for the orange lens headlights, somehow makes the car a near-exact replica of the real thing.

The controls, however were not that impressive- the car can only travel in a straight line, no steering. The only time you can make it change direction is when you engage it in reverse. This is when the front wheels veer to the right, making your car move backwards in an arc.

What really thrilled me about this RC (which is my first RC in 20 years, by the way) is the price tag. Despite its flaws, it was a decent-enough RC car for its price. Otherwise, I'd just sigh upon seeing it, and move to the next shelf. Yep, I spent the whole weekend driving the darn thing around the house, chasing our pesky cat. After all, given my current financial situation, this is the closest experience I'll ever have to owning and driving a real New Beetle.

It has been said that what differentiates men from the boys is the price of their toys. While the Y chromosome probably dictates the need for a plaything, a gadget, an instrument that basically becomes an extension of one's personality, the boundary of the male adult's and child's toys could be defined clearly a few years ago, with the former usually tinkering with a real car, a powerful computer,or a set of powertools, while the latter had his action figures, transformable robots, and friction-powered race cars. A few years ago, you would have laughed your head off at the idea of a 22-yr. old college graduate chasing his sister's pesky cat with his remote-controlled, shiny, red toy Bug.

The said boundary is blurred nowadays, thanks to hobbyists/collectors- the same bunch of people who never outgrew their old G.I. Joes and instead "volted-in" under one label to give their seemingly childish obsessions a tinge of "elitist" flavor. Proof of this blurred boundary is the quality of contemporary action figures which look more like artistic sculptures than toys, because of their fine and realistic details. The toy then appeals to children who worship the action figure's comic book/video game character persona, and to collectors who buy the toy for display in their own personal glass zoo.

The mini-4WD craze (otherwise known as "Tamiya") also shattered the idea of toys being just for small boys. I could still remember the variety of people swarming on these pocket rockets a year ago like a pack of wild hyenas around someone else's carcass. While I was not really into the mini-4WD craze, my kid brother was very enthusiastic about customizing his "Brocken". (My main concern then was how to graft a Toy Beetle body on a mini-4WD chassis.) On the afternoons I accompanied my brother to those mini racetracks, I was always simultaneously surprised and impressed with the unusual persons the sport attracted. Aside from little kids, there was this middle-aged woman customizing the gears of her small car, and a bunch of humongous men cheering their heavily-accessorized blue racer.

Yet perhaps the most amusing toy collector I've met would be fellow club member, and VWCP club historian Wilfredo Ruiz. Mang Dodi, a man in his mid-fifties, collects all sorts of VW memorabilia. Aside from postcards, posters, Herbie pocketbooks, VW literature, and VW cars, he also collects VW toys. He currently owns around 200 die-cast VW models, and more than 500 caricature/fancy VW toys. His toys also represent different VW models such as the Beetle, Concept 1, the Microbus, Karmann Ghia, Type 3, and some VW War Vehicles.

As for me, I am an avid toy collector. Perhaps I never really outgrew my old Matchbox and Lego cars. While most of my old toys have disappeared, I usually scrounge the toy section of department stores to look for VW cars, a rarity for some unknown reason. The top of my study table is piled up with different VW toy cars, from pull-back action bugs, friction motored cars, a bunch of small die-cast Beetles, and a styrofoam convertible Bug an artist friend carved up for me.

This fascination with toys does not end with VWs. A few years ago, I came across this brand new Optimus Prime toy for sale. It still had its original box, original stickers/decals, catalogs, and the instruction manual! There were still 6 Primes left but I only bought one. The original price was around 850Php, but since the toy was at sale at that time, I got mine for 679Php. When a friend told me how much these Primes costed at E-bay (and they were used, incomplete Optimus Primes at that!), I almost banged my head against the wall for not blowing what meager moolah I have saved to buy all of them.

I also have boxes of Gundam plastic models kept in their boxes like plastic mummies in cardboard sarcophagi, primarily because I don't have one of those glass shelves where I can display my robots without them being dust-gatherers. Ditto with my unassembled Tamiya (not the mini 4WD Tamiya!!!) model cars. There is also this need for an airbrush for I actually paint my scale models with an ordinary paintbrush- thankfully, without disastrous results, but the experience generates much stress, not to mention, an almost mediocre paintjob.

As for now, I could only dream of the things I would splurge my earnings on (aside from my VW) , if I find a stable job. Perhaps I would need a larger study table by then, not to mention, a larger room. Que sera sera.

But enough of chasing dreams! Today, I place my enthusiasm in a shiny red RC Bug, chasing a white cat like there's no tomorrow...

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Kung paano mag-park ng van sa panaginip...

Kaninang umaga, dahil coding yung beetle, van ang ginamit namin papasok sa opisina.

Ngayon, kung may isang perk ang van na wala sa beetle, ito yung possiblity na matulog nang mahimbing sa backseat. Maaga kasi kaming pumapasok, darating ng Makati, 2 hours before pasukan, at dahil medyo kulang sa tulog, oks na.

Last month, yung van ang dala ko lagi, at bumaba ang stress levels ko dahil sa extra 2 hours na tulog sa umaga. At kapag uwian na, at overtime kunwari yung utol ko, oks lang! Bonus sleeping time ulit sa van habang naghihintay!

So eto, dahil nga mahimbing ang tulog, madalas mananaginip ka. Minsan mas vivid pa ang panaginip dito kesa sa mga tulog ko sa bahay. Tulad ngayon. Yep, kaninang umaga. Isang vivid na panaginip na masasabi kong pinaka-weirdong panaginip ko sa buong taon. At pag-gising ko, isang malaking "WTF" ang tanging laman ng aking kamalayan.

Ganito yun. Nagdadrive daw ako papasok sa opisina. PEro mag-isa lang ako, wala si utol. Pasok na ako sa loob ng parking building. May nakita pa raw akong sirang katawan ng isang Sakbayan sa loob, tapos may mental note pa akong tanungin yung may-ari kung puwede yung bilhin. Syet, kahit sa panaginip, VW addict pa rin.

So ganun, nakapag-park na raw ako, tapos pagbaba ko sa van, may tumawag sa akin.
Paglingon ko, babae. Tinanong kung kilala ko pa raw siya.

Namukhaan ko, classmate ko nung highschool, pero ngayon hot na siya. Tapos naupo kami sa bangko sa tabi. Oo, biglang nagkaroon ng bangko sa tabi. Tapos kuwentuhan kami, tapos nakikipag-flirt na sa akin. Tapos ayun, magme-make-out na kami nang biglang...

"Boss, puwedeng makahingi ng pamasahe?"

May matandang mag-asawang nakatayo sa harap namin. Mukhang disente naman, humihingi ng barya. Nampotah, istorbo! Sabi namin wala. Tapos pagtingin ko, nawawala cellphone ko sa mesa (oo, biglang nagkaroon ng mesa sa harap ng bangko, at apparently, nilagay namin ng dati kong classmate yung gamit namin dun earlier habang nagkukuwentuhan) tapos galit na galit daw ako. Hinabol ko yung lalaki, tapos inamin niya kinuha raw niya at wala akong magagawa. Tapos binugbog ko.

Suplex, bodyslam, figure four, clothesline, paulit-ulit na wrestling moves! Binabalibag ko raw sa semento, hinahampas sa pader. Galit na galit daw ako!

Tapos nandun si Batista.

At kung di pa ganun ka-weirdo ang panaginip ko, nagkataon pang tatay pala ni Batista yung binubugbog ko.

Syet.

PEro, mukhang estranged yata sila. Namutla raw ako bigla nung malamn ko e, pero walang paki si Batista sa magulang niya, tapos sabi ko raw "Di ka ba nahihiya sa sarili mo? Yung magulang mo nagnanakaw ng cellphone para mabuhay, di mo suportahan?"
Kaso wala, galit din si Batista sa tatay niya.

Tapos umalis na silang lahat, pero wala pa rin yung cellphone ko, so asar na asar daw ako. Anong ginawa ko? RELOAD! RELOAD!

Oo, apparently simultaneous akong conscious at hindi conscious na panaginip lang ang lahat. At parang game na naka-save sa memory card, pag nagkamali, reload lang!

So okay, reload na! PArk daw ako sa parking, nakita yung sirang Sakbayan, baba sa van, nakita yung classmate ko dati, flirt-flirt na, at nung magme-make out na kami...

"WHEEE!WHEEE!WHEEE!!!"

Napatingin ako sa labas, at may isang malaking shiny red na firetruck! Syet! Kamukha pa nung matchbox na firetruck ko dati nung bata ako na ninakaw sa loob ng bahay namin!

Tapos may sunog daw sa kabilang building! Nagkakagulo mga tao dun!

Letse, bad trip... RELOAD! RELOAD!

Okay, nagda-drive ulit ako ng van... malapit na sa parking building... kaso di ako makapasok sa building kasi traffic sa tapat, so umikot ako ulit... pa-ikot-ikot lang... Tapos may nabangga ako biglang dark green na maliit na van. Nampotah...

So sinubukan ko raw takasan. Maliit naman daw kasi ang makina nun, di ako mahahabol. At iikot na lang ako sa mga pasikot-sikot area. Good! Gumana ang plano! Pagpasok ko sa parking building, ayun, nakita ko na naman daw yung sirang Sakbayan, mental note ulit... Tapos nag-park na ako. Pagbaba ko, biglang may tumawag sa akin...

"Excuse me! Ikaw ba yung bumangga sa van namin?"

Fuckfuckfuckfuck!

PAglingon ko, may lolang galit na galit. Ang sama ng tingin sa akin. Pagtingin ko sa van ko, nandun pa yung green na pintura sa harap, at yung mga yupi. Anong sasabihin ko?

"Ah, kasi po... ah... eh..."

Tapos biglang dumating yung mga alalay nung lola, binuksan yung van ko, at biglang hinakot yung kahon-kahon ng pirated CD ng tatay ko sa loob! Tumakbo ako sa tabi, pinipigilan ko, biglang napansin ko, wala na kami sa loob ng parking area, nasa tabi na kami ng kalsada. Tapos may mga streetkids pang nakikigulo, pumapasok sa van. Isa-isa ko raw initsa sa imburnal sa tabi, tapos bumalik ako sa harap, nandun na, 5-6 na malalaking kahong puno ng CD.

"Ipapa-media ko ito, para makulong ka..."

"HA! 'Wag po! Teka!"

Tapos na-realize ko bigla, si Armida Siguion-Reyna yung lola. May mga nagdadatingan nang mga mobile ng SWAT, tapos may mga itim na helicopter na sa paligid...

Putangina! Syet! Inis na inis na ako. Sinisipa ko na yung poste sa tabi sa galit. Sinasabunutan ko na sarili ko. Nampotah! Ponyeta!

At ano ginagawa ng gamer pag naka-ilang reload na siya ng laro, pero di pa rin successful? QUIT!

Tapos nagising na ako, sa backseat ng van. Tangina, nag-oversleep pa ako. Lumabas ako ng van, luminga-linga sa paligid. Oo, di na ito panaginip. Walang sirang Sakbayan sa tabi, walang cute na dating classmate. Yung harap ng van, walang malaking bangga, walang green na pintura. Okay.

Bumaba ako sa ministop, bumili ng Pepsi MAX para magising, tapos pumasok na ako sa opisina.